Haylee (Daughter)

It’s funny how something like surgery can change your perspective on things. While this isn’t my first surgery – that was three years ago when I broke my leg – this is my first one being a mom. Suddenly, scheduling and recovery became a lot more complicated. It wasn’t just a matter of “When can I have the surgery?” and “How long is recovery?”.

It became…

• Is surgery with a toddler possible for us right now?
• Who will watch her while we’re at the hospital?
• Will she be ok without us?
• Am I going to have to stop nursing?
• Will I be able to pick her up?
• Is this whole ordeal going to negatively affect her?

Those questions and probably a hundred more went through my head. Looking back now, it all seems kind of silly. Logically, I knew we’d all figure it out, but, emotionally, I was just trying to not crash out. Now that we’re 5 days post op, all the medication has worn off, and I’ve had time to reflect, here are some things I’ve learned throughout this process.

1) No Time is a Good Time

While that might sound a little negative or doom and gloom, it is the reality. No one wants to have surgery, let alone while parenting a toddler. They don’t understand why you can’t get up and run around with them or play with them outside. They don’t understand why you can’t love on them the way you normally would, why cuddles or hugs have to be extra gentle. It’s going to be an adjustment – for everyone. Odds are, if you need surgery, it’s important and for good reason. Schedule the appointment. You’ll all figure it out together.

2) They Grow Up Faster than You Realize

I knew my girl was strong and resilient, but I didn’t realize how much. Somehow it seems that over the last 5 days she’s grown more than she has in the last year. With lots of help from Daddy, she is sleeping through most of the night, no longer nursing, and has become a little more independent. She’s now helping pick out her outfits for the day! It’s crazy to see her grow and learn and come more into her own. I knew this time with her would fly by, but I guess I didn’t realize how it could happen in the blink of an eye. Time is such a thief.

3) It’s Ok to Slow Down and Have Others Take Care of You

You think I would’ve learned this my first go around with surgery, but I, admittedly, can be pretty stubborn. I caught myself trying to clean the other day and do some other tasks I normally would have. I definitely paid for it later, my body wasn’t the happiest. My problem is that I don’t like feeling like I’m an inconvenience, that I’m in the way, that I’m incapable, or that I’m just being lazy. If I’m able to do something, I’m going to do it. It doesn’t matter if I shouldn’t, I will because I can – because I don’t want to be a bother to others. This time around with having surgery, we have a village surrounding us and supporting us in any way that we need. Letting my husband take the reins around the house, having others provide meals for us, and learning to rest has been a learning curve, but so much appreciated.