Therese (Mom)

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and every year we’re surrounded by pink ribbons and reminders to get our mammograms. Those reminders are important, but this year I want to talk about something a little more personal: how important it is not only to take care of ourselves, but also to look out for the people we love.

I know how easy it is to put a mammogram off. Life gets busy. We take care of our families, go to work, keep up with appointments, run errands and handle the countless things that need our attention. Before we know it, months have passed and that appointment we meant to schedule is still sitting somewhere at the bottom of our list.

I could have easily been that woman. If it hadn’t been for my husband pushing me and repeatedly reminding me to get my mammogram, I might have continued putting it off. Thankfully, I listened, because that mammogram found my breast cancer very early.

It Was So Small They Had Trouble Finding It

After my mammogram, I was sent for a follow-up ultrasound. The area they were looking for was so small that the nurse had difficulty finding it. There was cancer in my breast, but it was so tiny that even when they knew where to look, it wasn’t easy to locate.

What has always stayed with me is the persistence of the radiologist. The radiologist knew something was there and wasn’t willing to give up. The nurse continued searching until she finally found the area they were looking for, and a biopsy was performed right away. It was cancer.

Sometimes I think about how differently my story could have unfolded. What if my husband hadn’t kept reminding me to schedule that mammogram? What if I had waited another year? What if the radiologist hadn’t been so persistent when the area was difficult to find? That tiny cancer would have had more time to grow.

Instead, it was found early, and I will always be grateful for every person who played a part in making that happen.

Early Detection Isn’t Just a Catchphrase

We hear the words “early detection saves lives” so often that they can almost become background noise during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For me, those words will never be just a slogan. They are personal.

My cancer wasn’t something I could feel. There wasn’t a huge warning sign telling me something was wrong. In fact, it was so small that it was difficult to locate during the follow-up ultrasound. But the mammogram detected something that needed a closer look.

That’s why I will always encourage women to talk with their healthcare providers about breast cancer screening and what schedule is appropriate for their age, history and individual risk. Don’t assume that because you feel fine there couldn’t possibly be something there. And don’t continually push your own health to the bottom of the list because everyone else seems to need you first.

You matter too.

Be the Person Who Reminds Someone

I also think Breast Cancer Awareness Month is an opportunity to look beyond our own health. Sometimes we need someone else to remind us to take care of ourselves. My husband was that person for me, and I will forever be grateful that he kept asking me about my mammogram.

So call your mom. Check on your sister. Ask your best friend. Talk to your daughters. Husbands and partners, remind the women you love too. It might feel like you’re nagging, but sometimes a little loving persistence is exactly what someone needs.

My husband’s persistence got me to that mammogram. The mammogram detected something incredibly small, and the radiologist’s persistence made sure they didn’t stop until they found it. There were several moments when things could have gone differently, and thankfully they didn’t.

Sometimes the Most Important Thing You Can Do Is Show Up

There is another part of supporting the women in our lives that I don’t think we talk about enough. Sometimes reminding someone to make the appointment isn’t enough. Sometimes they’re scared, and what they really need is someone willing to go with them.

If someone you love is afraid to get her mammogram, offer to drive her. If she’s called back for additional imaging, offer to sit in the waiting room. If she needs a biopsy, ask if she’d like you there. You don’t have to know exactly what to say or somehow make the fear disappear. Sometimes your presence is enough.

I did this for a friend who was scared to go through testing, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant easing someone’s fear or pain. I know what it feels like to be on the other side of those appointments. I know how your mind can race while you’re waiting and how frightening the unknown can feel.

Fear can also make people postpone things. Sometimes we’re afraid of what a test might find, so we convince ourselves we’d rather not know. Having someone beside you doesn’t necessarily take that fear away, but it can make it easier to face.

So instead of only asking someone you love, “Did you schedule your mammogram?” consider following it with, “Do you want me to go with you?”

Let This Be Your Reminder

This Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I don’t want to simply wear pink or share another ribbon. I want to pass along the reminder that someone once gave me.

If you’re due for your mammogram, talk with your healthcare provider and make the appointment. If someone you love is due, remind her. And if she’s scared, offer to go with her.

Breast cancer awareness isn’t only about knowing that breast cancer exists. It’s about taking action. It’s about paying attention to our bodies, getting appropriate screenings, looking out for one another and being willing to sit beside someone when she’s afraid.

You never know how much a reminder, a little persistence or simply showing up might matter.

I know how much all three have mattered in my life.